Total and Utter Randomness

1) I gave up Facebook for Lent. I just need to get away from that mess of judgement, stupidity, and other crap that is on there.

2) Family should come FIRST before anyone else. Yes, friends are important too, and without friends some people have nothing, but your own flesh and blood and their needs should come before your friends. Family should also, ALWAYS, come before your drugs.

3) I find it funny how people defend their sins. As if saying "Its ok for me to watch that movie that is about as close to porn as you can get, because my husband and I have done it all before." makes it any better that you are watching something that God would not be happy about. Then go sit in church and give him that excuse.

4) It is stupid cold outside! This morning it was -1° when I got up with Layna at 6:30. In Tennessee. Really?

5) We got ice, and a tiny bit of snow, but if it's gonna be this stupid cold, we need at least a foot of snow on the ground!

6) I have gotten to where I can't even read one of my used to be favorite authors anymore because of her "soft porn" descriptions of relationships in her books, even the ones about angels!! Really? You are going to write about Heaven and angels and on the same page write about a man doing unmentionable things with his wife. I realize we are all human, but I don't want to read about it.

7) I cooked supper and it is sitting in the kitchen, waiting for someone to come home, roaches circling it just waiting to devour it themselves.

8) Yes, I have roaches. I have had them for over a year and can't get rid of them. It doesn't help that there has been sewage in my back yard for two years where the landlord won't fix the septic. This place needs to burn to the ground.

9) If we could afford to move we would, but rent is stupid high everywhere and with only one income right now, it's impossible, especially when I don't see any of that income except rent money. Where the rest goes? Who knows.

10) I have gained so much weight over the last few months that I weigh more now than I did when I was pregnant with Layna, which depresses me even more and makes me gain even more.

11) I really miss drinking my wine. I am a good person, tho, and not drinking in front of the sober person in the house that needs to stay alcohol free after all this time.

12) My child is driving me insane.

13) Did I mention I need wine?

14) I extremely dislike having dogs in the house now that I have Layna. They are a stinky, shedding, hyperactive mess!

15) I hate carpet!

16) I really want some snow.

17) It's kinda funny, but it feels like Christmas never happened last year. It was too hectic and chaotic and just went by way too fast.

18) I slept with a stuffed animal up till the point Layna was born. Not really sure why, just always did and couldn't sleep if I didn't.

19) I also used to have to sleep with a sound machine. I can get away with a fan now, but if the power goes off I am screwed. I have to find a  portable radio and turn it on dead air so I can sleep to the static, and even then it's not the same and I have a problem sleeping.

20) Sometimes I think someone else would be a better mama for Layna, because I'm not cut out for it. But I wouldn't trade her for the world.

21) My child won't take a paci, never has, but she will sure chew on her bottle!

22) I really need my Zoloft back.

23) I really like the new church we are going to. Everyone is friendly, the pastor gives good sermons, and it's small, so as not to get lost in the crowd. I'm hoping this works out for us. I miss the church I grew up in, but my forgiveness level is gone these days and I just can't go back.

24) A lot of people think it's ok to judge someone. I am guilty, though I try hard not to, some times it happens. But there are people that not only shouldn't pass judgement but shouldn't do so in front of others. Behind closed doors, to yourself is one thing, but to openly talk about someone, degrade them in public, is wrong for a pastor to do. Which is why I cannot go back to the church I grew up in. Who wants a pastor that talks about her congregation behind their backs to other congregation members?

25) Never stay with someone you know doesn't love you, it breaks your own soul down. It ruins your confidence. It shatters your heart. And it scars you for life.

26) Some of this has probably ticked some people off. It should be interesting to see who is left when I go back to Facebook. Do I care? Not really. I will speak my mind. I will stand up for myself and my faith. Don't like? Delete me.

27) I like to cuddle with my daughter while she's asleep, if she will let me.

28) I need sleep.