What Irritates Me.....

1) On the way home yesterday there was a chick in a heated discussion with her man driving behind me. She was swerving, riding my butt, and not paying a bit of attention. Numerous times I hit the brakes and then took off. I should have let her buy me another car.

2) Do cars seriously not make turn signals anymore? Or maybe there really is something to that "blinker fluid" story.

3) Where does the smart phone get its vocabulary from? Do you know how many words I have to add every day? (blinker)

4) Don't tell me you are going to get up with the baby and then when she starts to cry roll over and hide your head in the pillows.

5) Passing over someone who is highly qualified for a job because they didn't go to college.

6) Firing someone over a personal grudge. If they are darned good at what they do, suck up your personal feelings and let them do the job.

7) Running out of sugar when you really want some hot tea.

8) Coming home to find out your dog has rolled around in poop.

9) Waking up with baby three hours after falling asleep and being wide awake and not able to go back to sleep.

10) People who talk during church. If you aren't there to listen, don't go. I don't want to talk to you while the preacher is preaching.

11) Driving in the rain.

12) Having nothing to wear.

13) People who think they are better than everyone else.

14) People who give me attitude first thing. That is not the way to start the day.

15) Having to go to work instead of staying home and taking care of by beautiful baby girl, so she doesn't get yelled at all day.

Sunday Funday, Not So Monday

Yesterday started out very bad. Sadie, the dog, went missing before church. We went on ahead and came back to look for her afterwards. Found her, but she jumped in my car and peed on the back seat. Needless to say the ride to the in-laws was very quiet after that.

Had a great meal with them, then sat around visiting. They wanted to go hiking at Old Stone Fort and I just knew Bugz would say no. But he said yes!! So away we go.

We got there and it was sprinkling. We just knew there was going to be a downpour or storm roll in on us, but we were lucky and missed it all. It started raining as soon as we got home.

It was Layna's first hike, and her first big experience outside. Other than spitting up from the shaking in the carrier, she did excellent! No crying or fussing, and she held on to my fingers the whole time. We even dipped her toes in the Duck River! She didn't like that because the water was cold. She didn't cry, tho, so I was surprised.

We all have a great time! And we got confirmation on who Layna's godparents are going to be. I am so happy that they said yes! I think they will be great spiritually for her, and if something were to ever happen to us, they will make great parents for her. She will be truly blessed.

Today has been horrible so far. Been fighting a horrible headache since 1am. Called in to work, just can't deal with a ringing phone with a headache, much less the long drive there. On top of that, there are deadly storms moving in. Bad tornadoes have already killed 17 from this system. As I sit here now writing, the winds are starting to pick up quite a bit. I don't want to be that far away from my baby if something were to happen. And I definitely don't want to be out on the road in it all. Tornadoes, high winds, lightning, hail....no, I'd rather be at home with my baby. Granted, I'm in a trailer, but we can go to safety if we have to.

I am really not looking forward to this day and all the potential bad weather. It scares me. But what can you do other than pray for safety? And pray for those poor souls in Arkansas, Oklahoma, and even North Carolina whose houses and businesses have been leveled.

It is going to be a long day.

Bargain Momma!

So a while back I mentioned that I had gotten some awesome deals on dresses for Layna, for next year. Three dressy dresses for $3.99 each!

Well, I was browsing Craigslist yesterday and I found a jumper. One of those really high dollar jumper contraptions. The lady was asking $30! Now, I'm thinking that even if it's a little dirty and she's too small for it right now, it can be cleaned and she will love it one day, AND $30 is better than $100+. So I send the lady a msg and set a time to meet up today.

After our pancake breakfast for the kids at church, I headed to meet her. We get there (Layna and I) and it's an older lady and man, maybe in their late 50's, with a little boy. She jumps out and after saying she doesn't think it will fit in my car, she wants to know if I have my baby with me, and goes to the back seat of my car.

A lot of "Aw she's adorable, she's tiny, she's too small for it right now but she'll grow in to it......" we discuss having to tear the jumper down to get it in my trunk. We walk over to their van and they lift the hatch. There the jumper sits, looking like it's NEVER been used!!! We get it torn apart and put in the trunk, and she offers me one of those ball-blowing elephant things for $3, and I say why not!

She tries to give me advice on raising Layna, give me a 2011 magazine about kids with a Biblical foundation, and then we part ways. I sit in my car and think SCORE!! Do you realized how much money you saved today, Holly? Because you are good like that.

I think that $33 for the jumper and elephant was an awesome deal, and a great investment of a portion of Layna's Easter prize egg money. Especially since Daddy isn't working, and Mommy's temp job may be over at the end of this coming week, not to mention I had to buy back brakes for my car today, and will have to get front ones soon.

Today was a pretty good day, for the most part. Our pancake breakfast didn't have a great turnout, but they still made a lot of money. One of our mommys had a seizure and they had to take her home. We had a good time at my Dad's changing the brakes, while they worked we went to see Grammy Sue and then back over to Daddy and Pop. We sat there talking for a while and Pop actually tried to play with Layna a bit. She held on to his finger! Got a little bit of attitude tonight and now I'm in a two story house (great old song).

Layna has fallen asleep, and I can't hold my eyes open either. Another long day ahead of us tomorrow!

Total Randomness

1) I cannot stand the ads on Craigslist that state "curb alert". Unless you are jobless and can drive everywhere quickly, what are the odds that you are going to get that item? And what if it rains? Who wants a sofa or a table that's been warped from sitting in the rain?

2) The Wicked Witch from OZ died on my birthday. Not the actual witch in the movie, but the actress. Andy Kaufman, Sammy Davis Jr, and Jim Henson also died on my birthday.

3) What would have happened if Dorothy and the Scarecrow had taken another fork in the road? They had two others they could have taken. Where would they have ended up if they had?

4) I need to find a jumper/jumparoo for a reasonable price for Layna. She was trying to "jump" on my legs last night.

5) I have a killer headache.

6) I am missing my little girl and nervous about our arrangement we have going on right now.

7) It's too beautiful a day outside today to be cooped up inside. Would love to be fishing!

8) I really haven't missed Facebook, and don't want to get on it other than to post pics of Layna and maybe check the sale pages (for baby stuff).

9) If this job pans out, I want to move closer to here. The drive isn't bad, just eats away my day.

10) I got attitude when I got home because someone was fussy all day and he couldn't handle it. Nothing like coming home to hateful.  :(

11) I am so glad to see my little sweetie tho, even if the atmosphere is hateful here.

12) I look at her and I still can't believe she's mine. I don't feel like I carried her for 9 months, gave birth to her. Its all like a dream.

13) Its 8pm and I'm ready to go to bed! Sadly, Layna isn't yet.

14) I have two blankets that I started on, wonder when I can finish them.

15) Layna's eyes are now green.

16) And they are closing.....well, they were till a huge shooting scene in the movie we're watching.

17) When she smiles in her sleep it makes me smile. With that pouty lip sticking out.

18) She's asleep, I think I need to be too. Just can't stop watching Gran Torino, I forgot how it ends.

19) My back hurts.

20) My stomach hurts too, the movie may have to wait. Not like it's not on my shelf if I want to watch it again later.

21) Now that I've seen the end and am sad, it's time to take my headache, backache, and my cute baby and go to bed.

Project in the Works

So now that I am a working mom, things have changed drastically. All these plans that I had as a SAHM are a little....altered now. I was planning on trying to craft as much as I could; making chalkboard frames, learning how to sew, even picking back up my photography!

Working 5 days a week, 9 hours a day, and driving 30-45 minutes each way, my time has been drastically cut. When I get home I'm so tired that I just hold Layna and try to stay awake.

I do still plan on doing my photography, especially with Layna. How can I not want to take pictures of my cutie?

There is a project I plan on working on, tho. It is her wooden highchair. Now, I can't say I'm going to be doing a lot of the work myself; my dad has taken it apart, sanded it, put some wood glue where it was needed and is going to varnish it and fix the strap on it. The original plan was to paint it, but Bugz said no. So I was voted out of the painting, and it will keep its original wood color.

Next I have to decide how I want her name applied to the back. At first I thought of painting it, but I don't like that idea in the event it gets used for another child later on (yes, I wouldn't mind another one). So then I thought of my friend Nikki on Facebook and how she does vinyl lettering. This way it could be customized, and when I need to I should be able to remove the vinyl. Now the biggest problem is how I want it to look. Just a name? A frog? A colorful frame around her name? The ideas are endless!

With that, I have to think about my crafting contribution to the chair. I am going to make cleanable (wipe down, not machine wash) placemats for the wooden tray. I found someone online that made them and shared how she made her own pattern. The designs are unlimited, because you use fabric inside the two layers of laminate. Can you imagine me in Hobby Lobby trying to decide on fabrics? I'd have 20 different placemats made! Pink frogs, monkeys, ladybugs, penguin, pink leopard....endless!! I cannot wait till I start getting good paychecks so I can go pick out fabrics. There is also a fabric store over here in Winchester on my way home too. Hmmm.

Anyway, here are the before pictures of the high chair. This is before dad took it apart and sanded it. I purchased it for $20 at a thrift store. Its hard to tell if it's "old" or not, or how old it is, beings its in great shape. I can't wait to get it all finished up for her to use! What I can wait for is her to get big enough to use it. Haha!

Dramatic Easter

I am so glad that my daughter's first Easter was ruined today. Well, she won't remember it, but I sure will. I cannot believe some people! But let's start at the beginning:

Last night was a blast! About 30 Easter eggs had glow sticks in them. The other eggs they had to hunt by flashlight. It was so much fun watching them! I took pictures while the big kids (Momma Mary and Bugz included) hunted the eggs. Bugz found the most (55 out of 170) and got the prize egg.

This morning was a beautiful 7:30am sunrise service in the cemetery, followed by breakfast of cinnamon rolls, donuts, oj, and coffee at the church. Then the kids hid their eggs. We had such a great turnout, and the kids had a blast! I am so glad that we have such a huge group of young kids in the church now. They are the future of Blanton's Chapel, and I'm proud to say that Layna is one of them. She is the 6th generation England to attend there! 

(pictures are unedited, haven't had time to play with them today - the date is also wrong on some of the pictures)

After the hunt at church, we headed to the Majors for the kids hunt and lunch. Insert drama. Now, I don't want to go into great detail about it all, but it was a huge mess. To sum it up, it was mostly petty childishness. To get mad because a 3 month old is getting help hunting eggs (like she could do it on her own!) even though the 3 and 5 year olds had help too, and then because she won the prize egg. Yes, lets get mad about a 3 MONTH OLD winning something. Fight ensued, cuss words flew, and threats to call the cops were thrown. And they left mad. Childishness. When your kids have everything they could ever want (a $750 pig, fancy clothes, blah blah blah) and you are going to throw a fit because a 3 MONTH OLD won the prize egg....please. Oh, and isn't it also illegal to have a three year old in the front seat of a vehicle NOT in a carseat? Not to mention the five year old not in one either, in the back seat. 

I do have one thing to say, though. Bugz loves Layna with all his heart and treats her just like she was his own. Most step parents that have their own kids treat their flesh and blood better than their step kids, and that is sad. Especially when you know what kind of home they come from and that they deserve a better life than they had where they were. 

ANYWAY....after all the drama and they left, we opened Layna's eggs and then went in and enjoyed a yummy Easter lunch, complete with a basket cake! We visited and had a good time. We missed the ones that couldn't be there (not that chose not to). 

All in all, it was a great Easter, despite the drama. Next event will be her christening. Gotta work on invitations. But for now, this working momma needs to get to bed so she can get up early in the morning. Last night's three hours of sleep wore me out today!

Happy Easter everyone!

3am Adorableness

As much as I hate to admit it, the adorableness is not my daughter. She has thrown a fit this morning, making mommy just about lose it. Of course, I've only had two hours of sleep so far, so that might be part of it. A fussy, kicking, punching baby that will NOT lay still for anything is NOT fun.

I decided to check the Nashville news now that she has finally set down, and found the cutest articles. I just had to share them.

The first one is about a baby squirrel that is just so adorable! Poor thing fell out of a tree. Thakk goodness there were people to help him.

http://fox17.com/news/features/top-stories/stories/baby-squirrel-falls-tree-20905.shtml

The second one is adorable too, although confusing. Two little newborn kittens were in a box shipped out. Why didn't they take them back to where they came from? Their mommy may be missing them!
http://fox17.com/news/features/top-stories/stories/kittens-accidentally-packed-box-shipped-la-20906.shtml

We had a blast last night, hunting Easter eggs in the dark! They had glow sticks in some of them, and the others they had to find by flashlight. It was fun. It was for the big kids, though. Layna and her two younger little cousins (young but older than her) will hunt later today. She'll also get to hunt at church this morning too. Going to be a long, busy day. I will have to crash early, so I can get enough sleep for work tomorrow. This 7:30 am Sunrise Service will be neat, but it's going to make for an early morning and beginning of a long day.

Happy Easter everyone!

Beautiful Day!

Today has been just a beautiful day! We spent some time at my dad's house (Pop) while Bugz helped him clean up a bit and planted my new rose bushes. I refuse to plant anything here at this dump because I hope we can move. I LOVE roses, and beings Pop's place will eventually be mine anyway, why not plant them there? My old rusty swingset is where we put them. One is a climber, so hopefully it will climb all over the metal and be beautiful as the years go by. It is orange and yellow roses, so can't wait to see them! The other is just a bush, but is red petals with white on the inside. Should be beautiful!

We really enjoyed our time outside. Layna and I sat in the swing on the tree and had our bottle time. As we were swinging and enjoying the quiet of the country, it made me realize how much I miss being out in the country. We aren't in town where we are, but we're on a main highway and have people all around us. Out the front yard is two trailers and a business that operates cranes and farm equipment, very noisy and busy. Out the back yard is another trailer and a house, but even if they weren't there less than 10 feet away, the sewer leakage in the back prevents us from enjoying the uncovered deck and small yard.

Oh how I miss the country!


Tonight is the egg hunt for the adults at the 
Majors house. 


Our view from the swing:

No Longer a SAHM

After a total let down, it became mandatory that I go back to work. While I have missed working, I seriously missed Layna more yesterday. A 30 minute drive there and back, a 9 hour shift, was SO hard! Don't get me wrong, I like the job so far (yesterday was the first day and we're off today) but being away from Layna made me crazy. To go from being with her every moment for 14 weeks to being away from her for 10+ hours? Wow.

I'm sitting here this morning giving her a bottle and just staring at her, like I can't get enough. Last night after I got home I had to wash dishes and cook, so I had no time with her. I was so mad. It won't happen again. I will come home and play with her. No supper? Oh well, eat a sandwich. My baby girl is more important.

Today is expected to be a rainy day. Ugh. I have to go find pants for work. It's just a temp position right now, but if I impress them they may hire me full time. None of my clothes fit (pants, that is) so I have to go find some. Blah, I hate clothes shopping for myself.

Right now, Layna's gonna sit in her bumbo (Prince Lionheart) seat with me in the kitchen while I finish washing the dishes. A woman's work is never done, while a man's never starts.   :/

Trivia Tuesday

I know there are some of you that read my blog; I see the stats and there are at least two or three. Yet I have no comments yet.

So I have decided to play a game. Trivia Tuesday will be played once a month. The first comment below that answers the question correctly will win a prize; something handmade by me! I crochet, knit, and do a few other crafts, so there is no telling what your prize might be!

Here we go, trivia question #1:

Who was the first artist to be signed to the Beatles' Apple Records?

Good luck! I will give everyone till Friday, and if no one answers then we'll play again next month. Please note, if you win one month, you cannot win the following month, but are elligable the next month. This gives everyone a chance to answer and win.

On a totally different note, you never know what is going to happen. A local business man, who owned a very popular restaurant here in town, was killed in a head on collision with a school bus less than a mile away from my house. R.I.P. Freddie Reynolds of Freddie's Oyster Bar. You will be sadly missed.

Random Schmandom

Where to begin?

1) It is 1:54am and I am excessively thirsty.

2) I started another blog entry that had a link attached to it, but for some reason it didn't save.

3)  The link was to a christening dress listed on Etsy. Who in their right mind would pay OVER $400 for a dress that would only be worn once? Granted, you have another girl she could wear it two, but seriously? $400?? I am flabbergasted.

4) Bottle time is over and Layna is asleep. I am struggling to hold my eyes open, sitting in the glider rocker listening to the high wind gusts blowing my trailer around.

5) My c-section scar is hurting for some reason. Nothing unbearable but it is uncomfortable.

6) My SO and I got in a fight yesterday and the whole day was uneasy. We went to bed not saying goodnight. I don't like that. It hurts my heart, even though the fight was valid in some ways. It was a matter of having feelings hurt and short tempers.

7) Is it weird that I like the smell of Layna's (soy) milk breath? I'm addicted to it. lol

8) It's now 4:57am and poor baby can't breathe. No matter how much I've sucked her nose out it does no good. I try to give her her bottle and she can't drink it because she can't breathe. I don't know what to do for her. Guess a doctor's appointment needs to be made. Too bad it's going to be very stormy today.

9) Listening to the strong winds now. Its rippling my metal roof and making the bush at the end of the trailer squeak as it rubs the metal.

10) Rain is coming in, and I think I left my windows cracked in the car. Crap.

11) I need to figure out how to make some money from home. The SO's boss still hasn't paid him, so we need money coming in. I've a good mind to hunt that boss down and tell him off. But the SO shouldn't be putting in so many hours for him, either, if he's not gonna pay him.

12) I have been hurt, cheated on, abused, and abandoned so many times that my trust factor is gone. Same for my self esteem. Which also brings out my jealousy factor. Its natural, after all I've been through and seen.

13) Its pretty bad when your own Grammy tells you that you take horrible close up pictures. She saw one of me, that got many compliments, and said the above statement. Thanks Grammy, there goes my self esteem again.

14) Turns out Layna didn't want her bottle, she wanted her paci. She is now falling back asleep.

15) It is now 10:42am, I think it's time to get the day started! Can I take a nap? lol

What Day Is It?

Time has gone by so fast! It seems like it would go slow, beings I'm not working, but every day with Layna is an adventure.

I joined a clothing swap on one of the mommy boards I am on. They paired us boy/girl. So I got to buy for a little boy, and his mommy bought for Layna. I actually had two swap partner's, as one lady never heard from the organizer so I told her I'd swap with her too. I had so much fun shopping for a little boy! I agree there isn't near as much to choose from, but there are some cute little outfits!

I received one package already and her little outfits are so cute! She wore the one that says "Daddy Loves Me" yesterday for Daddy's birthday. I can't wait to see what partner #2 got for her!

Thursday I did Layna's Easter pictures. Yes, I did them, on my own. After having done them I found so much more I could have done, or done differently. In my defense, it was rather windy that day. My poor Easter eggs were flying away! I'm still pretty happy with how they turned out. Made some 4x6 collage photos yesterday for Easter cards to mail out. They are so cute!

Speaking of Easter, it's right around the corner! And you know what? I don't think I want to get back on Facebook. I really haven't missed anything, except the occasional picture or two (like my friend's wedding I didn't get to attend) or keeping in touch with my out of state family. We'll have to see once Easter is over what we'll do.

I cheated. I knew there was no way I'd have a chance to finish crocheting Layna's christening gown, both because she keeps me busy all day and because where I'm at in the pattern I got a little stumped. So....I bought her a little white dress. Its not an official christening gown, so it's not long like most of them are, but it is still beautiful. Now to decide what Sunday to do it on and get invitations made up. I wish I had some ink in my printer, it would make things so much easier!

By the way I LOVE Walgreens for all my picture printing needs. They run a different sale every week on prints and gifts. They had early Easter promos where I got a free 8x10 collage, 10 free 4x6, and 50% off a commuter mug for Pop. Good stuff!

Next week it's to the mall in Tullahoma for a visit (and pictures, if they aren't too expensive) with the Easter bunny! I can't wait to see if that photographer can make Layna smile! Haha!

Relief, Stress, and Pictures

Well....just as I thought, the loser sperm donor did not show up for the DNA test today. It relieves me that he didn't, as much as I was stressing about it. Now they make another appointment, which we don't have to be at (thank God!) and if he doesn't show up for it, he has to answer in court. Doesn't show up for court? He's screwed.  :)

That being the relief of the day, everything else was blah. Went to Wal-Mart for a few groceries and essentials. Our store STINKS!! Their idea of "remodeling" is painting the walls. Seriously? They are always out of everything! They never have any clothes in Layna's size. Today they were out of her baby bottles, and I needed to get a few extra. And lets not forget the 20 people in line and only 3 registers open.

Went to Save a Lot for my meats. Actually had a nice lady check me out and a nice lady behind me complimenting Layna and how cute she is. Got home, unloaded, and was putting the meats in the freezer when Layna started crying. She would not stop. She cried all while I was cooking spaghetti to take to my dad. I gave her a bottle while waiting on the pasta. She drank and fell asleep......for 5 minutes! Then back to crying again.

She settled down for a bit, so I tried her 3 month pictures. She did good not crying for a while, but I couldn't get her to smile. I still got some cute pictures, just would have been nice if she had smiled. As soon as I got the perfect angle, she started throwing a fit again.

She cried till I got her in the car to take my dad his food, then she got quiet. Until we got home and back in the house. Then she cried again. And cried, and cried, and cried. All I have done for the last 4 hours is feed and rock her. She has finally at this moment gone to sleep. Normally I would have supper cooked, but she just hasn't let me tonight. And that's ok, because I haven't heard a word from Daddy at all today, even tho he knew I was worried about today......and, it is 8:45pm and dark, they aren't working in the dark! He wants to play around with his friends, he can fix himself something when he comes in. Don't ignore me all day and night and expect me to be a ray of sunshine when you decide I'm worth spending time with.

Can you tell I am stressed? I found mold in the bedroom where the window is leaking in the rain. Out the back door you can smell the sewage. I have tripped over so many things today, ran into things, stepped on things, hit my head on things.....I'm a walking disaster today!

Oh! And I have a question before I wrap up. My little Frogger is only 3 months old and my boyfriend isn't the mushy sentimental type (still don't have an engagement ring, and I gave him my mom's to give me so he didn't have to buy one.....he hasn't " given" it to me yet) so he won't do it for her. Is it bad I bought myself my own Mom shirt? It says" I'm a MOM, what's your super power?" I thought it was cute. Was it ok that I bought it instead of it being given to me?

Ok, here's pictures from today's photo shoot, both good and bad/funny. Notice the Elvis look in one of them! Haha!

Worry Over Thoughts

1) Today my little Frogger turns three months. It should be a happy day, but it might not be. Why? Because today we have to go to the child support office for a DNA test with her no-good baby daddy. I have a feeling he won't show up, but my fear is that he will and cause problems. He doesn't deserve any rights to her, he never wanted her (or me) and hasn't been here. She has a daddy that loves her, and me, and the no-good baby daddy doesn't need to be in her life.

2) I guess because of all the worry I dreamt about severe storms/tornadoes.

3) Layna didn't go to sleep till 10pm, and we are up again at 1:30am (when I started the entry). She usually sleeps better than this. I hope the next stretch will be longer, I need my rest before the chaos that could happen this morning.

4) Beings that Layna turns 3 Months today, I have to do a picture. I don't know how I want to do it just yet, I still have to work on her blackboard and exactly what she is going to wear. I try and color coordinate the board with her outfit. Which brings me to......

5) Easter. I know exactly what I want to do for the picture, but I don't know how to do it. She cannot sit up on her own yet, and when I prop her up she falls to the side. I want her in my old red wagon with her stuffed frog, rabbit, and chick. I just have to figure out how to put her in there.

6) Speaking of Easter, I wanted to take her to have her picture made with the" Easter Bunny". Well, there's only one place close by that I know of that has him, and they aren't doing it till the Friday and Saturday before Easter the next day on Sunday. Seriously? How are you supposed to mail out Easter greetings with the picture if you don't take them BEFORE Easter? Duh! That's why I want to try and do the red wagon this week, to get them made and mailed out to those family members that aren't on the world wide web yet. Haha!

7) In my nature walking at the in-laws Sunday, I picked up a tick! Hate them suckers! Just found him yesterday morning as I was preparing to get in the shower. Just glad he was big enough to see!

8) I had an old teddy bear I made a long time ago (crochet) and it had gotten nasty and stinky at my dad's house. I brought it here, washed and bleached it up, and gave it a girly touch. Layna is too young for it right now, but when she gets older she can play with it.

9) I joined a clothing exchange on one of the mommy apps I follow. They paired us up boy/girl. I got to buy boys outfits and send them to someone, and the other mommy gets to send Layna something. My package is due any day now, straight from ND. I can't wait to see what she got! I have another mommy I'm swapping with, but I haven't heard from her for a few days, so I don't know when we are going to exchange.

10) I am addicted to playing Bingo and Coin Dozier on my phone. I need to stop.

11) I still have yet to figure out why the Android version of the Blogger app is so much different, to the point that I will have to post my pictures in bulk at the end of the entries, otherwise the lettering between them will all be messed up.  :/

12) Layna has fallen asleep after her bottle, but at now 2:30, an hour later, I'm wide awake.

13) it is now 7:30am and little Frogger slept till 7am! Not too bad!

14) I am now more worried as the time gets closer. We are to be there at 10:15am. I hope I can stay strong and hold my own.

15) I don't like it when people talk about me behind my back, especially to my family.

16) I hate getting excited about things that might not happen. Bugz keeps talking about building us a house on Pa's land. Has it all drawn out. But what if he doesn't get any land? How are we going to afford all the supplies? What are we going to do with both my Grammy and my dad's houses when they pass? I'm sure not selling or renting them out. I want out of this trailer so bad. Not because it's a trailer, that doesn't bother me. Its because the landlord is letting things fall apart, he wants to sell the land, and the trailer is a wreck, full of spiders, ants, and roaches. Not to mention the sewer still overflowing in the back yard.

17) It is cold this morning! The heat is on in the house and it's still cold!

18) I have a sore throat. No good.

19) I am hungry, but afraid to eat because of my worried nerves.

20) I am so ready for this day to be over with, but I know it's only gonna get worse. Court dates, possible fighting for visitation (if he changes his mind). All I can do now is pray.

Sunday Sunday

Isn't that how the song goes? Oh no, wait, that's Monday Monday. Well, this morning started out that way, as a Monday. I woke up to a fussy baby at about 7:45am. As soon as I woke up, I smelled dog poop. Not the little dog, but the big dog. It almost made me gag! I looked all over the house, couldn't find it. The smell was the strongest around her crate. I didn't think twice, I threw her blanket that was inside it away. It was wet, but I could not find the poop. Well, I tossed the blanket in a garbage bag and threw it outside and then locked her in her crate.

As I was trying to fix breakfast she puked. Horribly. So horrible that I'm pretty sure she ate the poop I was smelling. I woke up Bugz, made him clean it up.

He lets her outside, run around for about 30 minutes while he moved her crate outside. She came back in, got in front of the sofa, and horribly puked again. All over the carpet.

So then, we went to church, my baby girl all smiles. From there we went to Nanny and Papa Billy's for lunch and Bugz, Holly, and Christyn's birthday cakes. I took a walk and found some cool wildflowers, including Dutchmans Breeches, a type of Bleeding Heart. It was all over the hills down there. Beautiful. I identified the DB,  the wild flox, and the wild violet, but no idea what the yellow, white petal, and the spotted green things are. Anyone know?