Thursday, January 22, 2015

Decisions

We've been here before. It seems as though things haven't changed. Still doing/selling drugs, still hanging around with the wrong crowd, still disrespectful.

I thought that the time apart would change things. I though you would grow up. But, just like before, you put everything before what is more important.

Your priorities are in the wrong place. Instead of supporting your family, you support your drug habit. Instead of spending time with your child, you spend time running drugs and hanging out with your friends. Instead of telling someone you love them, you avoid them at all costs and stay away from them, only coming around to eat and sleep.

You never compliment, you never support, you never appreciate. You take for granted, you do as you please, you don't care about anyone but yourself.

There comes a time when someone has to grow up. When someone has to put things in perspective and decide what is more important, what is the right thing to do, what is best for themselves and their child.

I have come to that decision. The funny thing is, you take it for granted. You think I'm gonna put up with your mental, emotional, and verbal abuse. You take for granted the fact that I am going to be here no matter what you do.

Well, guess what! MY daughter deserves better than that. MY daughter deserves someone who is going to love her, cherish her, do anything humanly possible for her, and treat her mother the same. She does not need to see her mother cry, yell, get upset, get sick, because of you.

She needs to know that she is more important than your drugs, your friends, your video games.

She needs someone who will spend time with her, take her places, hold her, love her. Take her to church, help her to understand God's love and how to live a God filled life.

Hold her when she cries, and not be the cause of her tears.

I deserve not to be yelled at when I am upset with you because you come home high, 4-5-6-7 hours after you got off work, when I'm already in bed, when I've worked all day taking care of my child, cleaning, and shopping for the food you eat and the toilet paper you wipe your butt with.

I deserve someone who will lift me up, not tear me down. I deserve someone who will treat me with respect, and as if I mattered, not just another obstacle to overcome to do what you want to do.

If you can't look someone in the eye and tell them exactly why you love them, then you need to rethink the relationship. You can't even say "I love you"! And no, actions don't speak louder than words when your actions are disrespectful and hateful.

So here we are, back at the same place we were at almost the same time two years ago. Except this time its different. This time it doesn't hurt as bad. This time there is more than just me that is affected by your attitude and selfishness. And this time it will be a lot easier to walk away.

Now you have to decide what you want. Watch us walk away for good, or do something about it.

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