Monday, June 23, 2014

When it hurts.....

Having Layna has opened my eyes to so much. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her. I used to have a spending problem, and I still do, but it's all for or about her. Clothes, toys, yarn to make a blanket (and hopefully a monkey one day).

But it's not just about money. Its about family. Its about her future. Its about her spiritual life.

I choose Layna's godparents (and Bugz agreed) because they love her so much, and they are the Godly type of people I want to influence her life. It is important that when I and/or Bugz can't be there for her that she has someone that will care for her; physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I believe in my heart they can do that.

I also wanted to raise my daughter in the church I grew up in. She is the 5th generation (possibly 6th) of my family to attend our church, and I am proud to say she was baptized there.

Yet, recent events have caused me to question whether it's the right church for us or not. I do not want to go into detail as to why, that's my personal issue with certain people in the church. But to sum it up, there is so much negative there. Old versus young. Power struggles. Bosses, not leaders. Talking behind people's backs.

I realize this is probably so in most churches, but the source is the main problem.

That is why it saddens me to make the decision not to attend my family church anymore. Beyond my obligation this week, I am just not sure I could go back.

A church is supposed to be spiritually filling. A church is supposed to be uplifting. A church is for God, not the greedy needs of us humans, to control and bicker with those who don't want to do what we want to do, to talk about them behind their backs and cause more turmoil.

When there is division in the church, it is sure to crumble. We have already lost some because of this division, and others will soon follow. Is this really what we want? To drive the ones away that don't agree with what we want? To make our church all about our wants, and not about God?

As you walk through the doors of a church, you should feel welcomed. You should feel comfortable. You should feel inspired. But most of all, you should feel the Holy Spirit fill you up. You should be fired up, ready to learn, worship, and praise His name.

How can you feel that when there is so much tension? So much division?

I will pray for my little church, that they can come together and realize what is most important; worshipping God and preparing our children for their spiritual future.

I also pray that we as a little family, can find the place where we feel comfortable worshipping the Lord and serving Him. Maybe one day it will be my little family church again.

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