Cry It Out?

This subject is a big one for debate. There are those that believe you should let your child cry it out. There are others that believe they need to feel that comfort, to help them understand they aren't alone and feel safe.

Now, I am conflicted in this both ways. I agree they need to feel the safety, but I know most of it is about me; I hate to hear her cry, I don't want to put her down, I want to hold and soothe her.

I also believe they should cry it out. They need to learn how to soothe themselves to sleep, or they will never learn.

That being said, I usually don't let her cry it out. Why? Because at nighttime Daddy is trying to sleep, and although he says he never hears her, and he never gets up when she fusses, I still feel obligated to quieten her, especially since our rooms share a wall that is paper thin. So yes, when she wakes up fussy in the middle of the night, instead of a rub on the back and soothing words, I pick her up, let her sip on a bottle, and bounce her back to sleep. Rocking doesn't work, she likes to bounce.

This is not to say that I don't let her cry it out occasionally. There are times that I am busy doing other things, cooking, taking a shower, cleaning, and I put her either in her crib (while showering) or on the floor and she will throw an all out hissy fit. She will cry and cry and cry till she cries herself to sleep. I feel bad about it, but if I didn't, I would never get anything done!

So who's to say, really, what's right and what's wrong. Every child is different, they all have different needs, and as they grow those needs change. For instance, Layna now doesn't seem to mind as much if she has a blanket on her as she sleeps. Maybe its because she hasn't felt good, I don't know, but she will let me cover her with it now. Tonight she actually grabbed for it as I laid it on top of her while she was laying on her back. I tried to get a picture, but her hand is under the blanket, so you can't see it.

The blanket she's covered up in is one that my Granny Steel made for me when I was little. I think it was supposed to be a doll blanket, but it works perfectly for Layna right now, and it couldn't make me any happier. Granny Steel was a family friend on my mom's side. Her and her husband never had kids. We went to see her quite a bit as I was growing up. She made me all kinds of things, including a dress that I wish I could find, if my mom kept it.

When she passed away, there was no one at the funeral home but myself, my mom and dad, and my grandparents. I think one or two people straggled in while we were there. We did not follow the procession; I'm not sure that anyone did. I remember being upset that we didn't, and then especially later on when we rode past the cemetery during the graveside service and there was no one there.

Granny Steel was such a big part of my childhood, I loved going to visit with her. It saddened me that she had to go like that. She had been in the nursing home, only because of a broken arm and had no one to stay with her while she was recovering, and she slowly lost her mind in there. She told mom on her last visit that her sister had come to pick her up and ride her around town in the car. No one had come to see her. The nurses called mom when she died, they weren't sure who else to call.

So Layna taking up with that particular blanket, even though its small, means SO much to me.

And if I have to rock her to sleep at 2am wrapped up in it, then so be it!