Downward Spiral

Sometimes its best to keep your opinions to yourself. If your intent is to make someone feel bad, then maybe you need to think about why you want them to feel bad.

Is it your place to judge why they are in the position they are in? Is it your place to tell them what to do? Unless it is your child, who isn't old enough to make their own decisions, or someone who works under you and you are their boss, then no, you have no right to tell them what to do.

Yes, you can be concerned. Its everyone's nature to be concerned.

I was judged quite a few times this weekend, and yes, I feel horrible about it. I also feel unfairly judged. Its one thing to choose to do or not to do something out of laziness. Its another thing to do something because you feel its the right thing to do at that time in your life.

Yes, I want to work. Yes, I want to provide the best life for my daughter.

At the same time I want to be here for her. I see how the world is today. You can't trust anyone, the school systems are horrible. I don't have built in mommies and grandmommies that can watch her while I work. I don't have brothers or sisters that can help out. I have in-laws, but they have their own children and their own jobs.

Right now, my place is with Layna. I truly believe that. Are we struggling? Yes. Are we broke? Yes. But Layna has everything she needs, and that's all that matters right now.

I have put in applications at various different places with no luck, so its not for a lack of trying.

People have told me that I need to go into photography. I would absolutely love to do that, but the problem is there are already SO many self-proclaimed photographers out there it's not even funny! I alone have six or seven friends on Facebook that do their own side photography business. How do you compete with that? And against your friends? There are so many now that a lot of the commercial photography studios have gone out of business, like the ones in Walmart, and even Olan Mills in Tullahoma (wasn't that the one?)

When the perfect opportunity falls in place, I will jump on it, and I will know if its the right thing or not.